We are energy. Our thoughts and actions create energy that comes from us. We can feel other people’s energy. Intuitively, we pick up on the energy of other people and that can make us feel uncomfortable or happy.
Just like people, things have energy too. The things we own are tangible reminders of days gone by. But, sometimes, we hold onto things longer than we need to.
While everyone has their own level of comfort as far as collecting things go, it can begin to become a problem if you feel that you can’t let go for no rational or sentimental reason.
At no time is this problem more in-your-face and needing to be dealt with as when you are moving from one place to another, or when you are cleaning out someone’s belongings when they pass away. I have faced both of these issues this past year.
Going through stuff after someone has passed away tells a lot about that person. Have you ever looked at your stuff realistically and thought about what it would mean to anyone but yourself if something happened to you? To that person, who did not have the same emotional attachment to your items, the stuff that you cherish mainly for the memories will most likely end up in a dumpster. Unless it is something valuable, that is.
When things begin to own us, rather than the other way around, all that stagnant energy can affect how we feel. Right now, I’m hauling stuff out of one basement to bring to another place. And it is a lot of work. And I probably don’t use half of the stuff I’m lugging around.
Anyone who has watched anything about cleaning out junk or organizing their living space has probably heard the following advice: put stuff in a box by the door. If you don’t look in the box or need anything for one month, throw the box out. Also, surround yourself with things that make you happy. I mean, I actually have a box near my door right now full of vases. How many vases does a person actually need? How often do I get flowers?
I still have email addresses for people I will never contact again from the Diocese. And cards I received when I worked there as well.
Why do we tend to hang on to things that do not bring us joy, that we never look at, and that we don’t need? Perhaps it is to remind us that it happened. It is a piece of our life that we have brought with us to the present. I have the dress I wore to my wedding that I will never fit into again hanging in the closet. The marriage ended so why do I hang on to the reminder?
The thing is, we probably hold on to some things because of the memories they hold. For instance, although the wedding dress serves no purpose except to take up space and I am no longer with my ex, the day itself was special and happy. Many of the people who were at the wedding have either passed away or are no longer in my life.
But logically, why do we hang on to stuff that ends up in boxes in basements that we never go through or never use and is just more and more difficult to physically lug around with us as we get older?
Are we literally carrying our lives and our memories with us in life?
I think what is most important is not the boxes filled with stuff, but the stuff itself. As long as what is in the box or on our shelves brings us happiness to look at once again, and if it was a part of a happy day or time in our life, it is probably okay to hang on to. But if it is a reminder of something that caused pain or has negative memories attached, it might be time to clear things out and get rid of things with toxic memories and energy.
You will know by how the item makes you feel when you see it or hold it if it is time to let it go. If it makes you feel sad, anxious, or overwhelmed to hang on to something or if it brings up unhealthy memories…better to let it go from your life.
I believe that holding on to some things gives us a sense of control when we have lost someone we love. Or like myself hanging on to emails of people I will never contact again, a sense that letting it go completely is like giving up or saying that what happened was okay. Hanging on to things like that really serve no rational purpose.
There is a trauma connection to holding on to stuff and letting clutter build. I read recently that people who have gone through trauma or brain injury, or who have a continued sense of depression or chronic pain, can feel overwhelmed by their belongings and accumulation of unused items. Sifting through boxes or piles or bookshelves to get organized can feel overwhelming.
That could explain why I have been sitting at my desk surrounded by boxes of papers for the past months. Don’t know what I can get rid of yet. Feels overwhelming. The boxes of papers represent nothing that is pleasant, and I hate looking at the stuff but there it is for now.
What other things do we form an attachment to that we can’t seem to let go of? Pain. We identify with what happened to us. What happened to us, although abuse is not uncommon, is unique to our story. Holding onto that pain is a sort of protection from being hurt again. It’s a reason not to get too close to anyone. We also may feel the need to hang on to what happened to us in the past because we have never felt that what happened was acknowledged or that we got justice.
We can also hang on to people and relationships that are no longer loving or healthy. What was once a happy and loving situation with emotional rewards can change but we don’t want to acknowledge that we are being hit with “a thousand little cuts” because we may fear letting go and being alone. We may wait for love to rekindle, remembering a time when things were much better. We may feel that we love this person but if we think about it, we may realize that they have not done anything but make you miserable for quite some time. Yet, we may hang in there, trying our best to say the right words or rehash the issues over and over again because we don’t want to face the fact that things are over and that someone no longer loves you.
We may try to be kind and decent in the hope that this will get noticed. We may try to “improve” ourselves in some way such as if the person criticizes us for being unattractive or too clingy. The thousand little cuts you suffer every day from this person are horrible, but fear of more pain may keep you stuck.
It can be painful to let go of physical items from the past, things that we own that we feel are a part of us, unresolved painful memories, or relationships that are no longer healthy and are keeping us stuck. Even saying that sentence makes me feel imprisoned by walls of negativity…and things that weigh us down. Stuff that gets too heavy to carry and brings no joy or contentment.
Take a look at your life and see what brings you a feeling of positive energy and what weighs you down like an anchor. Begin to shed the things and people who do not contribute to your health and happiness. Letting go of old energy allows room for new energy, more positive energy, and new people and experiences in your life.
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